Distracted driving?

It has been quite a while since I posted something here. I would love to report that driver skill levels have climbed…but alas they haven’t.
Now we’re into extra time on the topic of distracted driving in Ontario. The province has legislated that anyone caught playing with their cellphone will get a hefty $500 fine and 3 demerit points. This is starting to feel like the approach they use to stem the occurrence of drinking and driving. I fear it will be with similar efficacy! Further heaping insult to injury is the lengthy definition of distracted driving. It seems to only pertain to using handheld devices while driving.

I think it needs simplification. The definition of distracted driving should be:

If you are not attending to the safe conducting of your vehicle then you are distracted.

Eating, drinking coffee, reading, grooming, chatting and a host of other things that might seem like fun to do at 100+ km/hr are all types of distracted driving. We let these legislations become so complex that it allows people the opportunity to think that it does not apply to them. K.I.S.S: keep it simple smarty!

Drive safe and undistracted.


Drive now! Work later!

Ok…so it seems my primary source of material is STUPID drivers! When there are so many of them it is just the easiest source of stuff to write about.

Today’s tale is one of a guy who was obviously late for a meeting and who was perhaps not prepared but left the office anyway.

The scene is a multi-lane highway with plenty of traffic moving at 100+ km/h. Then we have our subject, driving at about 90 km/h and, based on the irregular line of travel, is having some difficulty steering his vehicle. At one point the curbing was providing him with some steering assistance!! I can’t tell what is distracting him as I pass because I can’t see his face. He’s bent over the passenger seat. All I can see is a shoulder, arm and hand (on the steering wheel). I make good my escape and leave this guy to his own disaster.

Five minutes later I notice a vehicle crowding my lane from the other side. Our subject has returned from the grassy edges of the highway!! Now he’s driving much faster but still not paying attention to the road. This time I can see through the passenger window that he has his laptop open and is frantically typing on it! I attempt to make eye contact with him…to no avail. Just then I arrived at my exit through which I escaped unharmed. Hopefully everyone else who encountered this MORON was as fortunate.

I don’t care if you are late for your meeting or if you care so little for your own life. Leave me out of your suicidal tendencies. PLEASE!!




Very simply…if you don’t know where you’re going…GET OFF THE ROAD! Driving to new places is fun! When you go, start by studying a map so you are familiar with the area to some small amount. It helps to prepare for the drive time when you can’t be looking at the map to see if your street is coming up next, two blocks away, or three blocks behind.

  • This goes for the guy who missed his off-ramp by a half mile. He decided it would be best to STOP and back up along the shoulder of the highway to the missed ramp!! In rush-hour traffic!
  • This goes for the lunatic who, after cutting across 2 lanes of traffic, and missing the water barrels on the exit ramp by a foot and narrowly missing an SUV (which was making its exit properly) managed to make his exit!
  • This also goes for the lady who was too busy on her cellphone to realize, until it was almost too late (for me!) to make her left turn…while she was racing past me in the right lane!

Plan your route! Be in the correct lane at the time when you need to be. If circumstances prevent you from making your turn/exit/etc…go around! Try it again! The life you save might be your own!

Buy a map or buy a GPS and above all pay attention to what you’re doing.


Wake UP!

When stopped for a red light why is it that 90% of people seem to look for something to DO while they wait for the green light? Really! Is life so boring that they need stimulus beyond the maximally tasking responsibility of conducting a motor vehicle? Are they unable focus on the traffic light for 30 seconds?

When the light does finally turn green they are busily looking for something at the bottom of their purse, changing clothes, clipping their toenails or some other suddenly important task…but NEVER ready to GO when the signal changes.

The controlled left turn lanes are the worst! The light is always short and yet it takes someone honking at them to bring their attention back to the outside world! By the time they finally get moving the left turn signal is amber and only one more vehicle can make the turn behind them.

Don’t be a dipshit! Stay sharp and drive safe!


On-ramps are acceleration lanes!

This is a public service announcement to the drivers who don’t know how to use an acceleration lane. Until your vehicle has reached the speed of traffic you are not safe to enter the through lanes. It is called an acceleration lane for a reason!

Too many people merge into the traffic flow as soon as they are clear of the barriers like the red car in the diagram above…regardless of their current speed! If I am coming up behind you at 100km/h and you pull out into my lane doing 80km/h (or less) you are creating a hazard for both of us. If your life is unimportant…fine. I don’t care. Just do your Thelma & Louise act somewhere where you are the only one impacted. I do not appreciate you trying to take me with you.

If you don’t know what to do to get on the highway properly then don’t get on the highway. There are perfectly good roads that run parallel to the highways at much lower speeds.

Don’t be a dipshit! Learn how to drive properly, and learn how to use the acceleration lane!


Welcome to Dipshit.ca.

People do stupid stuff…every day. Sometimes it makes the news. Sometimes it IS the news. We’re going to try to have some fun with this site. It is intended as a clearing house of stories about the stupid shit that we all do…or hear about other people doing. We can rant about them, make fun of them and maybe feel a little better afterwards.

As we go we suspect we will see some common themes. We might as well make a section on government before we even start.

This site is intended to poke fun…to provide a vent for steam that must be released. If you happen to end up as the subject of a topic here…wise up. We don’t mean any harm.


Casting a disparaging light on the stupid things that people do!